I have always been a huge fan of Boys Love and Yaoi comics. The representation of gay relationships in media has always been important to me, and I have always appreciated the way these comics have given visibility to the LGBTQ+ community. Back in the day it was super hard to find anything regarding positive gay relationships, but some Boys Love showcased it perfectly. Some…
However, I have recently become deeply troubled by the proliferation of harmful and stereotypical portrayals of gay relationships in these comics, manga, films and anime. In particular, the frequent use of abuse as a plot device in Boys Love and Yaoi is something that I find particularly troubling.
*** Disclaimer: This is an 18+ discussion but is a review that talks about personal subjects in media.
One of the main issues with this portrayal of abuse in Boys Love and Yaoi is that it reinforces negative stereotypes. These comics are not only harmful, but also make it difficult for people who have experienced abuse to heal.
Another issue with the portrayal is that it normalizes unhealthy and abusive relationships. This can be harmful for people who may not be able to recognize an unhealthy relationship in their own lives. This is common (more common than you think). It also undermines the importance of consent, communication, and mutual respect in a relationship. Portrayal of abuse in media is important to raise awareness, but if it’s shown as the “norm” and shown as a way to have a healthy relationship…just…no. There’s a difference between kinks and harmful relationships. Know the difference when writing stories please! Please!
It’s also worth noting that a lot of these series are written by women who try to normalize this, and published by actual publishing presses which is just plain weird. This implies that the portrayal of abuse in Boys Love and Yaoi comics is written as fantasy. It’s not just Boys Love that does this, but the majority that you find published…it’s just weird.
Why Yaoi Needs to Stop Doing This!
On a personal note, one of my closest friends was very triggered by a series because of the abuse aspect. He shared with me how he felt and wanted to share with you the importance of why abuse needs to be avoided as a fantasy plot device. This type of media made him remember his terrible experience and it was all by accident from a TikTok ad (more on why TikTok is toxic later on).
It was heartbreaking to see him going through that. It’s not okay to have this kind of fantasy being easily accessible and promoted even in an ad on TikTok, Instagram or YouTube Shorts. Even with filters on, TikTok still promoted that type of media to him. It’s not okay that these books and comics are super harmful and make it difficult for people who have experienced abuse to heal. They attempt to avoid them but when you’re online it is almost impossible to avoid specific searches on the topic.
It’s important to remember that representation matters and it’s crucial that we have more series that properly represent LGBTQ+ couples without making it a weird fantasy or promoting harmful stereotypes. As an LGBTQ+ media advocate, this needs to change as soon as possible, and I will constantly write about the good and bad media in this space.
Despite all this, I am hopeful for a better tomorrow on the subject. I believe that by speaking out against harmful representation and promoting positive and accurate representation for specifically Boys Love comics and manga, we can create a media landscape that is inclusive and respectful of the LGBTQ+ community.
I Married a Monster on a Hill by All Ages of Geek
On the other hand, series like “I Married a Monster on a Hill” by All Ages of Geek is a good example of how representation can be done right. The comic has been voiced and beta-read by LGBTQ+ editors, voice actors and talents, and it focuses on the wholesome. It gives a realistic representation of the LGBTQ+ community and their daily life and struggles without being stereotypical. Be sure to read it over on WEBTOON and subscribe there.
