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life tips

The Importance of Self-Care

Self-care is not something I’m good at in the sense that I can’t say no to people, I’m a giver by nature. However, I’ve come to learn that self-care is just as vital as caring for others because you can’t care for others if your cup is empty. I have a habit of helping others until I have nothing to give and I keep helping even after that, as a result, I feel drained beyond compare to the point that I can’t even help myself. With all this being said I wanted to give a shortlist of things you can do to help yourself and refill your cup so you can continue filling others.

  1. Do something you enjoy by yourself, play your favorite game, take a stroll, whatever you enjoy doing, do it and take some time to be alone and refuel without any distraction.
  2. Let others help you, there is nothing wrong with asking to receive back what you give to people. Let them tend to you to the best of their ability for a change and understand what it feels like to be the one being looked after. This will also help you feel better when you help others because you understand first hand how they feel, ideally speaking.
  3. Have a good stretch, stretching when I’m tired or stressed is something I’ve found to be very stress relieving and rejuvenating. It doesn’t need to be a full-on yoga session, just stretch your arms and legs, clench your fists and jaw and release, things like that.
  4. Take some time to ground yourself, make yourself aware of your surroundings. A good grounding technique is finding 5 things around you and describing them in as much detail as you can in your head. Walking barefoot, holding something in your hands, focusing on a single object and doing “hands-on” activities are also great ways to ground.
  5. Last but not least, get proper sleep. Our bodies simply weren’t made to run on a completely empty, rest is a vital part of keeping yourself healthy physically and mentally.

Photo by Tatiana Stec

My Weight Loss Journey | All Ages of Geek

Thousands of people work hard to try and improve their physical health every day, but it isn’t always easy to stay motivated sometimes we need help from people in our lives to really show us that if you never give up you can achieve your goals and improve your health and mindset, in this article I am going to tell you how I stay motivated on my ongoing weight loss journey.

Back in 2014 I was in the worst shape of my life, I felt really uncomfortable in my own body and I couldn’t even look in the mirror without feeling bad about myself, I would get bullied for the way I looked being called horrible names, and just being constantly mocked, I knew I had to do start doing something otherwise my mental and physical health were only going to get progressively worse.

Who really started to motivate me was my dad, who at the time he was already starting to exercise more often he would ride his bike to work instead of driving and go hiking up a hill with our dog nearly every single day, and he has had amazing success with his weight loss. I have always considered him my inspiration, so to see him do this truly inspired me to make some much-needed changes into my own lifestyle.

Now going to a gym 3-4 times a week is great and really does help but sometimes there are days when I just can’t bring myself to go, and I lack energy to even get out of the house, this is a problem I struggled to beat until recently as I have had one of my best friends join me on this journey he has encouraged me to go beyond my comfort zone while exercising and try using the different gym equipment such as exercise bikes, and rowing machines, since we have been doing this together we have motivated each other beyond our limits and have inspired each other to reach our individual goals no matter how hard it may seem.

Another way I stay motivated is due to history of diabetes in my family so I try to reduce the risk of it affecting me later in life, by having a more balanced diet which I have received massive motivational support from my mother who has taught me all about these alternative healthier food options which I would of never of discovered myself.

I sometimes go online and look at other people’s stories of their own journeys to lose weight and I just think if they can accomplish what they want then anyone can. All of these factors may not seem like much, but they all play a huge part in motivating me to improve my physical and mental well-being. So far, I have lost 64 lbs and I am only partway through my journey, I will continue to gain motivation from the sources I have spoken about and others.

Never underestimate the power that motivation can give you if you are struggling don’t give up because you can make a difference for yourself and achieve anything you set your mind too.

My Life With Depression | All Ages of Geek

In this article, I want to write about my life with depression. I hope I can help someone who is in a similar situation. I’ve been struggling since the age of 14, with partial severe depression and anxiety. This depression and anxiety were caused by heavy bullying during my school days. I also got a strong social anxiety disorder from the bullying, which still causes me problems today.

It’s therefore very difficult for me to forge social contacts and friendships. It’s difficult for me to trust other people because I’ve had a lot of bad experiences in trusting other people. I’ve lost all my friends because of my depression, and no one in my family wants to have anything to do with me.

The worst thing is the isolation, the loneliness, the sadness, the feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness. Your negative thoughts can make you crazy and will finally destroy you in the end. Every day is a new challenge not to give up. There are days that are so bad that you don’t want to get out of bed. You just want to disappear and stop existing, so that this horrible feeling finally disappears. It’s difficult to fight if you know that you will lose in the end. I’ll fight until my little heart stop beating. But I also know that maybe it will never get better, but I will not give up.

I’ve gone a long way and can not just give up now. I have a good job and have found a great community that has given me new hope. My biggest problem is that I can’t talk about it. I always act as if I’m happy, but in reality, I’m the opposite. I always try to be friendly and helpful, but inside I scream for help. I’m always there for everyone, but when I’m home alone in the evening, night, and the weekend nobody is there for me. I have no family or friends I’m always alone. It’s a very hard time for me sometimes it is so bad that I don’t want to live anymore.

I know there are many in this community who offer me their help. I’m very grateful to these people, but I don’t want to burden anyone with my problems. There are also good days, not every day is horrible and bad. But after every good day, many bad days follow. The depression is patient because the slidest drop of rain will cause these seeds to sprout. The rain will come and the seeds will sprout. The depression is always with me, it’s in my little heart, it’s in my thoughts, and deep in my soul. My depression follows me wherever I go.

If you suffer from depression and anxiety then talk about it. Believe me, it helps. Go to a psychotherapist, do something that is fun to you. If someone offers you help, then accept the help. Never give up, it will be better again, even if it’s currently very difficult for you. Believe in yourself and please DON’T GIVE UP! Better days will come, believe me. My faith in God always helps me at this time. As long as you have faith in your heart, you’ll never walk alone. God is always with you on your way.

The reason why I wrote this article is, that I want to help anyone who experiences a similar situation. You’re not alone, depression is not a choice.

The Motivation Killer: Burn Out | All Ages of Geek

Hello class, please have a seat. We have a really good lesson prepared for you special snowflakes today. We shall be talking about what all YouTubers refer to as, “burnout”. For anyone who hasn’t studied, burnout is the term used to describe when someone spends all their free-time focused on one specific task until that task causes that person to feel unmotivated and even hate the task.

For example, if you are a creator who keeps a tight schedule, but leaves no room for other activities. Not letting yourself do something less stressful to cool off from a hard day of giving 100%. Then you will find your motivation reserves plummeting. Suddenly your creative outlet is just work, and work is all you know. It’s like all the color is zapped away, there is no substance. Quite the scary scenario. Burnout is the mass murderer of your potential. The silent agent that is ready to destroy your motivation. And when you aren’t motivated, why even continue?

I follow many creators on YouTube, who upload regularly, like clockwork. And never take breaks or holidays. While their comments overflow with suggestions and requests that their audience wants them to fulfill. They feel obligated to continue. Until they find themselves drowning in a silent sea. The S.S. Motivation, taking on water and sinking to the dark depths. And let me tell you, it is a sad sight to see.

My favorite YouTuber of the RWBY community Arnold, also known as MurderofBirds, gave his own experience recently while watching the Rooster Teeth series Red vs Blue. While the Rooster Teeth fandom can be very warm and welcoming, at the same time they can become obsessed with getting new reactors speeding through series without putting a foot on the brake. They are so excited to discuss future moments of a series that they are impatient and don’t realize when their demands are like me when I am at a buffet. Yes person scooping my mash potatoes, make Mount Spud-icus higher. Eventually, we hit the bottom of the pan. The food worker sheds a tear in dismay. His hard work, now a beacon of poor decision making on my plate.

On a Patreon update post, Arnold had been running behind on his schedule. He had been having trouble making sure to upload on time. Fans were hounding him, wondering why the video wasn’t up yet. Arnold had this to say. “I’m tired, guys. I put dozens of HOURS into Red vs Blue on a weekly basis. You guys might get 2-3 hours videos per week, of my reaction and in-depth thoughts and breakdown of the batches, with notes provided, but there’s so much legwork involved and I’ve been stumbling to keep up.”

To summarize, when you feel like you are drowning you search for the escape route. And when what is drowning you is the videos you are making. What is the solution? You stop making them. And this has happened. Many YouTubers end up ending their youtube channels after getting burnout. Some are gaming channels, sick of playing the same game over and over, a game that once gave them joy. Now feels like a chore. A past time spent to connect and create, suddenly a burden.

Now you may be saying to yourself. “Okay, Professor Kai, this is interesting and all. But how does this affect me? My motivation to do what I want. I’m not a YouTuber.” And it’s a simple as this. When you start to see your creative outlet as a burden. That is a clear sign to take a break. Motivation is all well and good. But one should never forget that they need to take a break from time to time.

And if you do feel like your motivation is waning. Try to mix it up. Don’t feel like you are stuck to one form of creativity. Or one format. Sometimes the best way to get motivated would be to stop trying to please others and please yourself again. Do not be stuck on making sure you don’t disappoint those you entertain with your creations. It is yours when all is said and done. Give yourself regular breaks, as well as getting out and doing things with friends or family. Go see the world. You’d be surprised how it will give you the charge you needed. And remember, we have an exam next week and I expect you all to ace it! Seriously this will be on the final.

All joking aside, thanks again for trudging through the word trenches with me, next time I shall make sure to pack an extra shovel. Until next time! Stay safe, stay motivated, and stay true!

Loss of Motivation | All Ages of Geek

Life isn’t about who is the best dressed or who has the most money, its more a puzzle we are all meant to figure out and finish on our own. For starters, most people who claim they have their life together don’t. And that ok. Most of us don’t. The point of it all is figuring out what makes you happy and the rest goes from there.

Now you’re probably reading the title and thinking “how does happiness have to do with motivation?” And I’m here to tell you. Let’s say you’re passion is writing. You write stories and share them with your friends, you post poetry online, and sometimes you submit articles to your school’s newspaper. Which is all great. But as time moves on you start comparing yourself to other writers and start doubting your abilities. You slowly start forgetting to submit articles, you haven’t posted poetry online for months, and you stopped writing short stories. Now, my friend, you have reached something I like to call “Loss of motivation.”

“Loss of motivation” is kind of like burnout but has nothing to do with the amount of work you have been doing. It kind of happens when you start listening to what other people are doing and forget about what you want to do. So let’s say you and your friend are both writers and she asks you for help with her poem. Which you can help her! But, do not stop doing what you want, to help other people get to where they want to be. Because you need to focus on YOU.

“Loss of motivation” can happen at any time. Insecurities, loss of ideas, or maybe just a bad day. BUT! Do not worry because there is a solution to all of this.

Remember at the beginning of this I was talking about finding what makes you happy. Again the point of life is finding what makes you happy. So when you lose motivation, think about what truly makes you happy.

Again you’re a writer. And you lose motivation. “Now what?” Just paint a picture in your head and think about what made you love writing? Was it your professor? A writer whose work inspired you? Your family? Whatever it is that made you love writing or the thing you call your passion, think about it in your time of “loss of motivation”

When you think about why you love doing something, you’ll forget why you can’t do it. Because there is absolutely no reason why you can’t. Everyone can lose motivation which is fine. But! When it becomes permanent that is not ok. We all have dark days but working towards something will bring us out of them.

Sometimes hearing what your friends and family have to say can help you gain that motivation. But I am a firm believer that your mind can help you. “Why do I love this?” Ask yourself that and continue to do what you love. Because we all create for something. A loved one. Self-expression. The desire to help others. Inspiration. Fame. God. The list goes on. Just find where you fall on the list and continue to do what you love when you find that answer. Stay strong and keep doing what you love!

Fulfilling Your Dreams | All Ages of Geek

In this article, I’d like to tell a little personal story about motivation. How it helped me in a very difficult time of my life, and how important motivation is to achieve your goals and dreams.

In 2007 when I was 14 years old I was heavily bullied in school, I had no friends, and even the teachers were against me. I got depression and severe anxiety, I had reached a point where I saw no future for myself. At my lowest point, I was not able to leave the house or go to school because I had a strong social anxiety disorder. At that time, I was completely down. I lost all my hope, and my whole family was against me. They blamed me for my situation because they could not understand why I had these problems.

They knew about the bullying, but in their eyes, it was all my fault. My uncle even called me a total failure. After being in inpatient for 3 months to treat my depression and anxiety I had a conversation with my grandmother. We talked about my goals, my dreams and about my future. My grandmother then said a sentence that motivates me to this day.

“There will be no one to fulfill your dreams and wishes except yourself.”

This sentence opened my eyes, it gave me new strength, new hope, and above all, I finally believed in a future for me. I’m infinitely grateful to my grandmother, she was the only one who understood me and stood by my side in this difficult time. I finally started to believe in myself, I changed school and tried to make friends. The bullying did not stop, but it was not that bad anymore. I never was the best at school, but the ambition drove me on. I learned and learned because I wanted to be the best and show everyone who didn’t believe in me who I am and what I can.

At the end of my school days, I was one of the best graduates. It would never have happened without my belief in myself, my faith in God, and my ambition to be the best. After my school days, I worked for 2 famous magicians and became a member of the ultra group The Unity. It was a very crazy time but this is a topic for another article . Today I’m an engineering technologist but without the motivation, I got from my grandmother, I don’t know if I would be here today.

This little sentence changed my whole life, it helps me so much to this day. It is important that you always believe in yourself, even in difficult life situations. Never give up on your dreams and if you have the opportunity to fulfill one of your dreams, go for it. Because maybe you get the chance to realize your dream only once in your life. Sure there will be moments where you want to give up, where you have no strength left to continue. But remember why you started, and look how far you’ve come. One day you will look back, you will realize that all the hard work, all the pain, and all the despair have paid off.

Give up only when, NO, NEVER GIVE UP! Work hard, be patient, and fight till your last breath take, your last heartbeat to fulfill your dreams. Remember you are the only one who can fulfill your dreams, GO FOR IT! If you believe in yourself enough and know what you want, you are going to make it happen.


NEVER GIVE UP!

Photography by Tatiana Stec

The Importance of Community

Why is a community with others so important to us? Why is the pain of loneliness so unbearable? To answer this I need to share the time in my life when I first understood what community was and what it meant. When my first friend saved me from the depths of darkness despite my constant rejection of Him, the one who never stopped loving me despite how deeply my hatred for Him grew and the one who taught me who empathy and love are. The day I accepted Jesus as my savior and friend, my community, after many years of convincing myself that I didn’t need or want community.

Community isn’t just knowing of other people, the community is about being able to truly empathize and understand other people, to share your pain, your happiness, your despair, your joy and your passion with one another and grow as individuals and as a group. Community is something that has been vital to us since day one of our race’s existence. When God created Adam he was completely sinless and perfect and yet something was still missing, he had no one to share the happiness of the things God had given him with, despite being in literal paradise it wasn’t complete without the ability to share the depths of himself with another. Even in complete perfection, Adam could still feel the sting of loneliness. So God created Eve and only after that was Adam completely fulfilled in every way.

No matter how much we try to convince ourselves otherwise, we NEED people who can share in our joys and our pains, we need people we can rely on to steer us back on the right path when we stray from what’s good. God did not create man to be alone and no amount of trying to convince ourselves otherwise will change that. To say that we need no one to correct us, to connect with us, to bear our burdens with us is to put ourselves on the same pedestal as God himself and as we’ve seen in the past, those who do that get knocked down hard.

In this way, accepting a community is also a sign of being humble, to accept that you have limits and cannot do everything on your own. A community between us is the last prayer Jesus prayed before his trial and crucifixion began. The desire for community is something we simply can’t truly do way with no matter how deep we bury it. Community with others is what will keep us from destroying ourselves and it’s what will bring some semblance of peace to the world.

​Find a community and if all other communities reject you, create one!

Bullying Prevention | All Ages of Geek

Bullying is a serious problem in our society. I was bullied for many years, so in this article, I’d like to write about how to deal with bullies and how to help the victims of bullying.

What Can I Do Against Bullying?

Don’t look away if you see that someone is bullied. Be kind to the person being bullied. Show them that you care by trying to include them. Talk to them, invite them to something. Just hanging out with them will help them know they aren’t alone.

How Can I Defend Myself Against Bullies?

Talk to someone about the situation, a teacher, your friends, your parents. You can only get help if you speak about it. The longer you wait, the worse the situation gets, a bully thinks otherwise he can do anything with you. Please Ask For Help! Because a bully is a very weak person, if he knows that you are asking for help he will be scared because he fears the consequences. Don’t make the same mistakes that I made. I was too scared to ask for help because I was afraid of the reaction of the bullies and I was beaten up several times within two years.  In the end, though they can’t do anything to me when I ASK FOR HELP!

Treat everyone with respect, nobody should be mean to others. Stop and think before you say or do something that could hurt someone. Keep in mind that everyone is different, not better or worse, just different. Bullying causes many mental illnesses, it causes depression and anxiety, borderline, paranoia, leads to burnout, and causes many other physical/psychic diseases. Through bullying, I got depression and anxiety, paranoia, two broken ribs, and a broken nose.

Types of Bullying

Bullying does not always happen in person. cyber-bullying is a type of bullying that happens online or through text messages or even emails. There are things you can do to protect yourself. Always think about what you post. You never know what someone will forward. Being kind to others online who will help keep you safe. Do not share anything that could hurt someone. Think about who sees what you post online. Private settings let you control who sees what. If a hater is attacking you ignore him, block him, and report him. DON’T LISTEN TO THE HATER! They are just little cowards who hide behind their screens. They are jealous of your success. Tell yourself:

“Haters don’t hate you, they hate themselves. Because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be“. 

Bullying can cause long-lasting psychological and physical harm to victims. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Be positive and positive things will happen.

How To be a Supporter | All Ages of Geek

Tips on how to show support for your favorite content creators!

In this article I want to write about the importance of supporting a content creator, and what you can do to support your favorite content creator.

Support is very important for a creator, it’s motivating, it has a supportive effect and it is a praise for their good work. There are many things you can do to support your favorite content creator. Like and share the content, it helps to expand the range and is a compliment for their work. Follow them on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter or subscribe to their YouTube or Twitch channels.

You can also support the creator with donations. Donations help to improve the equipment steadily, and help to produce more content with a higher quality. Donate only as much as you can do, don’t donate so much that you get financial problems. Help other community members, and try to spread as much Fandom Positivity as possible. Don’t try to attract attention with strange and intrusive comments. Believe me, you will achieve more with positivity than with strange intrusive comments. Always be yourself and stay positive, then you will eventually get the recognition for your support.

Accept the decisions of the content creator about the content. It does not help to challenge the decisions with hate comments. If you see that someone writes hate comments, get up and stand against it. Inform the content creator about it, and if necessary report the user. Constructive criticism is okay, as long as it is not offensive or hateful. Always be respectful in discussions.

Another important thing is, never publish and share your personal data! You never know what kind of person you are dealing with, always stay safe on the internet.  

There are many ways to support your favorite content creator, be creative. But most importantly, do not spread hate just because you’re jealous, disappointed, or something else. Be supportive, helpful, and above all things, always be positive. 

Spread as much positivity as possible!